Right off the bat — am I the only adult who still cuts off/eats around the crusts on their sandwich? I’m talking sad desk lunch sandwich, not Panera. I’m wondering about this because I make an honest effort to buy this super nutty, super seedy whole grain bread (after my husband shamed me for buying the tan-colored white bread that masquerades as a health food) but the crust is just. so. dry. This is the naked bread, we’re talking. No pressing, heating, buttering + grilling. Just semi-chilled out of my free-giveaway lunchbox, with turkey and cheese and a swath of mustard (yellow, spicy).

OK, so I tried another bite, this time with crust. The top isn’t as bad: I got a couple of mouthfuls of seeds, and another grain-type pod that legitimately just crumbled into dust into my mouth. Another bite, this time right into the literal meat of the sandwich. Very good. Bite number four: the unwelcome addition of a piece of my hair (still attached to my head) that got stuck on the ascent. By the fifth bite, there is basically only an L-shaped corner left of this half, and–you guessed it–it’s all crust. So excuse me while I pick out the remaining scraps of meat and cheese and pitch the woeful remains. R.I.P.

That was it. Just wanted to vent that while it was fresh. I’ll hold off on the riveting tin foil/plastic bag/wax paper/Tupperware conversation until another day. 😁 Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to extract every micro-gram of fruit filling from my Fage yogurt (why is that corner so darn small? Do they think we eat with Popsicle sticks??).

Byye. ✌

-CGK